Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: My best vacation was a trip to the mountains. I remember it because I tried hiking. The air felt cool and clean.
Paragraph 2: We arrived at the cabin after a long drive. Then we unpacked our bags and made hot chocolate. The cabin had a small porch.
Paragraph 3: The next day we hiked to a lake. I seen a deer near the trees. We ate sandwiches and skipped stones.
Paragraph 4: Later we visited a town and bought postcards. Before that, we watched a movie at the cabin. I fell asleep during the movie.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, the trip made me feel brave. I liked being outdoors with my family. I want to go back someday.
- We arrived at the cabin after a long drive.
- I seen a deer near the trees. (correct answer)
- Later we visited a town and bought postcards.
- I want to go back someday.
Explanation: This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, specific sentences contain vague language and weak transitions that disrupt the flow. Choice B is correct because it contains an irregular verb error ('seen' should be 'saw'), requiring revision for proper grammar. Choice A is incorrect because it is grammatically sound and fits the narrative. To help students: Encourage them to read passages aloud to catch awkward phrasing, teach them to identify and fix vague language, and practice rearranging paragraphs for logical flow.