Six Steps to Build a Future You’ll Love
Want to build a future you’ll absolutely love? Just like everyone’s hobbies, families, and significant others–the things and people we love–are different, there’s no one-size-fits-all path to the loveliest future of all. But there are several habits that young people can build–and learn to love doing–that tend to lead toward careers and lifestyles that they can’t get enough of. Here are some ways to live now that help you love the way you’ll live in the future, too.
1. Experiment (and Fail)
Have you ever watched an extreme sport or street performer and asked “how did they even know they were good at that?” There’s a simple secret to that: they tried it out. Whether someone excels at coding in Python or training actual pythons, at some point they stared at their first attempt wondering if they could really do it.
There are thousands of hobbies and career paths available to you, but most people start to narrowly define their likes, dislikes, and self-image fairly early in life having only experienced a few dozen of those things. Now is the time to try new things to see what you like, what you have a hidden talent for, where you find people you enjoy spending time with, and also the things you just can’t stand. Like with any good experiment, completely ruling out certain possibilities is a win–it helps you narrow down the possibilities you investigate further. “It’s always the last place you look” isn’t just for finding keys or sunglasses; it’s for finding your passions, talents, and niche, too.
2. Challenge Yourself (and Fail)
The world tends to reward people who can get things done: prove that you’re up to the challenge and your paychecks get bigger, you have more career options, and people just hold you in high regard. And the best way to develop a knack for getting things done is to take on challenges and build both the skill set each challenge requires and the overall skill set of handling unique challenges.
Silicon Valley tech companies are famous for the saying “fail fast,” and NASA’s famous saying is “dare mighty things.” And they both lead to the same mindset: take on big challenges and know that failure is okay because it gives you mistakes to learn from. It may seem like your job as a teenager is to get perfect grades and excel in all of your extracurricular activities, but pretty quickly after your college applications (and most admissions officers would say even during them), your grades and titles become far less important than your abilities and references. And those you build by being up for the challenge and learning as you go.
3. Volunteer
The world is waiting to give you opportunities to learn about different careers and take on new challenges while you also build experience and references. But unlike the classes and activities at school, these opportunities won’t come looking for you.
All kinds of laboratories, companies, hospitals, and organizations are happy to take on student volunteers to do some work, shadow professionals, and learn all about what they do. You just have to seek out those opportunities and be willing to do them without pay. But think about it: you’ll pay thousands of dollars for the academic experience in college, so paying nothing to get some job experience is kind of a bargain, particularly if it helps you decide which major and classes to direct your tuition toward for a future you’ll love.
4. Ask
There’s an interesting turning point you’ll face in your 20s that most people don’t see coming but it’s a stark change the moment it happens. When you’re a student, all the higher-ups around you–teachers, principals, professors–are being paid to make you better. And once you’re no longer a student, it’s the opposite: you’re being paid to make your bosses look better and your customers feel better.
It’s similarly true for any help you ask for when you’re a student: grownups generally love when young people ask about their careers, or for help learning a new skill or getting their foot in the door. You’re in a golden era for asking for help from teachers and nearby adults, for volunteer and internship opportunities from businesses you admire, and even from role models you look up to. Again, they may not come looking for you, and you’ll hear “no” a few times, too, but when you’re a high school or college student far more people are eager to help you than you think, as long as you’re willing to ask.
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5. Show Gratitude
There’s an old saying that success in life “isn’t what you know, it’s who you know.” And while that axiom dramatically undervalues knowledge–no one trusts a surgeon or pilot just because they have friends in high places, for example–it is, indeed, very true that having people on your side is a key to finding opportunities to capitalize on your knowledge and abilities. It’s a lot easier to find that internship in your dream field when your teacher hears about it and thinks to tell you, or to find your dream apartment or dream partner when people are thinking about you, too.
And this doesn’t mean you need to walk around handing out stacks of business cards. It can start as simply as just being visibly grateful. When you send a thank-you note after a job interview or after a summer internship has ended, the recipient both thinks of you favorably and–just as importantly–thinks about you again so that your name is top of mind when the next big opportunity comes up. When you thank a teacher or guidance counselor for helping you, it’s a form of positive reinforcement not that different from giving a dog a treat for performing a new trick: they did something to help you, you made a point to make them feel good about it, so when there’s a chance to help you again it’s a chance for them to feel good again!
The world is busy, but people generally want to help other people when they have the opportunity and have the time. Being known as someone worth helping means that when those opportunities come up, you’re worth the time.
6. Just do it.
Apple founder Steve Jobs once said of his life and career path “you cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards.” And his point was that many of the “dots”–be they abilities, experiences, or connections–he had that helped him build Apple into a massive success didn’t make sense as part of a master plan he concocted at age 18 or 20, but really made sense when different opportunities arose. For example, he had once taken a calligraphy writing class well before becoming a tech founder, and that experience encouraged him to build a variety of fonts into his early operating systems…and people loved having those choices.
A big and undervalued part of success is just building new skills for their own sake: you may be taking a foreign language to fulfill a graduation requirement without much intent on traveling or speaking the language, but a few years down the road it might open up a connection for you. Your friend may be looking for someone to join a college club with them and it may be the place you meet your future spouse or business cofounder. There’s a lot of value in just building skills and connections so that, when an opportunity arises where those seemingly-random things intersect, you’re right there to capitalize. So when you’re faced with an opportunity to try or learn something, or just sit it out, seize the opportunity and see what comes of it.
